Wholphin

In the beginning, branding was a substitute for human interaction: the containers had cartoon representations of the people who used to sell those items directly. That way, you wouldn’t feel as bad when you broke the heart of the real freaky green leaf-man who sold you vegetables at the farmer’s market.

Once that was a comfortable betrayal, brands became less attached to their actual product/producers. Increasing the ubiquity of your brand was the only way to run a business for most of the 80s and 90s. It’s often said that branding began to die at some point in the mid to late 90s, but watching advertising today, you’d never know it. Starburst, Skittles, Burger King, Pepsi, and more have given up not only on actually describing their product but also on making you associate their brand with positive feelings.

Where does this all lead? Well, I submit Meredith Scardino and Dave Hill’s Another Spec Ad as a damn good guess.

Issue 4 represents the new, la moderne, the never-before. To commemorate, I am sending us back to the olden days: a few weeks ago. But I only head back so I can then go forward again: bringing everyone up to speed with our latest doings. And today it’s rather “Knife” out there.

Being centered in California, Wholphin is good friends with several grizzly bears. Brent Hoff, our fearless leader, is actually three eighths grizzly bear (one of his grandfathers and one of his grandmothers’ mother, for you unauthorized biographers and Wikipedia contributors).

Before California was a united state, it was an independent nation for all of twenty-five days. Our president was was William B. Ide, a pioneer and carpenter. Caleb Greenwood, a fur trader, had directed him to California. Ironic, since Ide would later befriend many grizzly bears during his struggle for power. Greenwood was a true mountain man who completed the very first wagon journey to California. Yes, the SAME California about which he told William Ide. Coincidence or chance? Some of the less popular members of the California Historical Society still argue about it to this day.

Fur trading was a volatile industry in those days, before all the glitz and glamour. The French had a monopoly of the Canadian fur trade, but they only wanted action to happen colony-side. Two Frenchmen learned from the Cree that the best fur country was northwest of Lake Superior, the area near what is now called Hudson’s Bay. They found financing in a group of investors from Boston and got incorporated by King Charles II, becoming “The Governor and Company of Adventurers of England trading into Hudson’s Bay,” an abbreviation of the longer, less memorable and altogether more unsightly name, “Hudson’s Bay Company”.

In June 1870, Hudson’s Bay Company transferred ownership of the Northwest Territories over to the Canadian Government. Later, in 2006, in Sachs Harbour, Northwest Territories, the world’s first documented grizzly-polar bear hybrid was discovered (and promptly shot, of course!). Grizzly-polars were then promoted from cryptids to fully-fledged hybrid animals, much like our very own Wholphin! Encyclopedia Pictura lists cryptozoology as an interest in the liner notes to their film, a music video for the song “Knife” by… wait for it… Grizzly Bear. Verily, fate has whistled its song and the stars have aligned to bring you, dear viewer, this film.

The sails of Wholphin No. 4 are visible on the horizon, the poop deck is eerily clean and our sea ghost’s shackles have been freed of rust and barnacles. Tragically, the submarine we use for our website headquarters is trailing behind. So, I am playing tug boat (a tug boat can pull a submarine, right?), reviewing our latest online offerings.

A dominant trend in modern animal studies shows that a lot of qualities previously held as innately human are actually shared by a vast number of animals. Great apes will hold hands, hug and dance with each other. There’s a group of dolphins that wear safety masks made out of sponges. Ants can be shown to teach — not just mimic.

The resident orcas of North America — like Tsuxiit, the subject of former-Unicorn/current-Island Nicholas Thorburn’s docu-music-video — have developed amazingly stable cultures and traditions. The pods are centered around the mother: the female children may leave and start their own pod, but the males travel with their mothers for the entirety of their lives. Even in instances where the mother dies, brothers will kick it old school together as a group.

One of the raddest things about this system is the way they differentiate between different families. In order to prevent inbreeding, Orca families develop their own dialects. The dialects are so different from each other, even a human ear can detect the difference instantly. A lot of studies about these traditions lead researchers to believe that orcas are heavily cultural. Songs, hunting strategies, defense techniques all get passed on through generations. New ideas can be spread through the cultures very rapidly.

Some researchers refute these claims of culture, noting that these behaviors may just be mimicry, without teaching, sharing or communication. Others, like my dawg Harald Yurk, simply see this as bickering over term definitions. “It’s better,” says Yurk, “to accept ourselves as closely linked to the natural world.”

I like that mindset, a lot. And I bet Nicholas Thorburn does, too. The understated beauty of his film, Tsuxiit, says more for interspecial communication and culture than anything I could ever write.

As you may already know, we’ve been putting the final touches on the new issue of the magazine (more info on that soon). It’s a long, involved process that requires intricate metal lathe work and the repeated action of pulling a table cloth out from under fine china (for the kids). Unfortunately, under such demands, nobody noticed the internet-canary died and now I have to dry my brow and play catch up with some neglected films.

Headbangers, by Elena Wen, bucks the indie film norm of asking existential questions with no answers. Instead, it is a strangely satisfying answer to a question you probably didn’t even know existed. Picture, if it pleases you, a typical nuclear family: loving parents, a newborn baby, six dogs, some brick walls. As is typical, the wife is spinning her vinyl copy of the Descendents’ “Everything Sucks” and playing “try to regain something lost” with her baby. “Thank You/Grand Theme” ends, the needle picks itself up and the speakers cool down but the baby is still banging its head! Is this dangerous? Should Jane Modernfamily be concerned? Watch and find out!

For the next few days I’ll be bringing everyone back up to speed on the latest films we’ve posted. Please wait patiently at your computer; there’s complimentary Mountain Dew inside your disc drive, if you can find it.

Wholphin was at the Taipei Urban Nomad Film Festival last week. I think someone said we were “kind of like a muffin.”

If you happen to be near Basel Switzerland next week around the 11th, stop by the First SCOPE Contemporary Art Fair where we hope to again be that.