Wholphin

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Directed by Bryan Wizemann

INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR BRYAN WIZEMANN

What were your concerns bringing a camera in to such a private part of your family life? I don't really know, or didn't give it much thought, as most of my art/film work tends to trade on risking or exposing some private issue. It took months to convince Sabina (my wife) to agree to this idea, and we finally made a deal that she would participate only if it was her decision alone whether anyone in the world would actually get to see it. We're both fairly conflicted about how we come across in the film, but eventually agreed that the film itself might be more important than how we feel about it. Did you talk to your wife about what should or should not be mentioned in front of the camera? No. We showed up unannounced, and I wouldn't have known what to censor even if I could have controlled the outcome. There is a certain irony about your wife asking you to quit making films while you are filming her. Did you have any idea of what she might say? Did anything surprise you about her responses? Unfortunately this particular fight was fairly easy to start as we've been having this same "discussion" numerous times before, so I did have some idea of what was to come. It had never got as emotional as this, I think something about the apparatus backed her into a corner. When we when fight about money, I don't have a leg to stand on, so this film was truly an effort to try and gain some objectivity on our situation, to deal with the constant cost and deferment involved in independent film. And it has actually helped. We sometimes reference the film when the subject comes up, and it diffuses emotions. My favorite aspect of this project is what you alluded to, that even despite her best objections about film in general, her participation is still helping me create another film. Her heart is invariably supportive of what I do, but that often conflicts directly with very real concerns regarding money and raising a family. You seem oddly calm during the film, are you usually like that when you argue or did your directorial responsibilities inspire you to display greater self-control? I always seem to switch to some kind of calmer persona when my wife becomes emotional, it must be a defense mechanism. As far as directing the thing, I don't really credit a director for the film. I don't feel it was really directed other than my coming up with the initial concept. If anything, we both directed the film. I have had people say that if they were arguing with someone as calm/disconnected on the other end, that that would just piss them off even more. Was it difficult to edit and review the footage with such a personal topic? It actually wasn't. I kept telling my wife that I thought there was something worth putting together out of the shoot, and in doing so would show her selects from the edit (we shot about four hours of footage in one straight shot). Once she sat down with me to review the rough assembly, she ended up helping shape the film itself, and became a kind of a co-editor. That was a nice unexpected outcome of the project. How do you think the film will affect other struggling filmmakers? Many have come up to me after various festival screenings, and the conversation starts like this: "I'm a (insert creative occupation here), and my girlfriend and I went through (insert difficult situation caused by said career choice here)." What struck me most is that it's not so much a film about filmmaking or all that brings, but a film about the sacrifices involved in any relationship, so w hen people talk to me about the film they end up talking about their own relationships. I wouldn't have known this to be true if it wasn't for those who sought me out after a screening. As far as how it'll affect other filmmakers, here's an excerpt from someone who commented about FMUH on IMDb:

"...This video was embarrassing to watch, he exploited private moments with his wife, which really put him and his wife in a really negative and non sympathetic light. This is the kind of stuff you know you will see at film festivals, but still when you see it you walk out upset that you paid money to sit through such crap. I blame the programmers for allowing such low quality stuff in their programs as well. Makes me want nothing to do with this art form."

So..., it may actually turn people off of filmmaking in general, which would be unfortunate. My hope is to just illustrate how working in a country with unsupported arts on dark and personal work in a very expensive medium in an economy that only favors commercial work might be a bit tricky. I don't want to dissuade people from making meaningful film, that would be a crime. What are you working on now? A feature screenplay I wrote called An Entire Body recently won a national award, and we're gearing up for production. Mike S. Ryan is producing, and we have some really good people involved. We also just optioned a Romantic Comedy called Humor Me (written with Andrew Semans) which we're very excited about as it looks like it might get produced. I'm optimistic, but know that opportunities evaporate all the time. More information about any my film projects can be found online at http://www.ballastfilms.com.

10 Responses to “Film Makes Us Happy”

• Shooshie
  August 31st, 2009

  I feel for your wife, but I know your story. I’ve lived it. I’ve been a professional musician for 45 of my years. Not a gigger; I stopped that after many years of everything from charity balls to recording with big symphonies. After each gig you’re unemployed again. I went “big time,” the directorial route and arranged music for a touring concert that had me out of town for two weeks for every one week at home with my wife and children. We went through hell. I felt guilty dragging my family through it, though I know they were proud to see me in concert. I know my business, and I knew the show I was with would make it to Vegas in our own theater, where we could perform forever. That day finally arrived. We got a contract with one of the very top hotels in Las Vegas. We had the very room I’d always hoped for. Then the performer for whom I directed literally died, just a couple of months after we got the contract, before we ever opened in our room. Suddenly I was back at the beginning again, and I had no “Plan B,” not to mention losing one of the best friends I ever had. Just at the moment when my wife would have that break, we lost everything I’d worked for. I’m still trying to figure out what to do next.

  Don’t miss your children’s growing up. Try doing what your wife does for a while. You’ll be amazed how hard it is. Amazed. I don’t have any answers, though. I know you will do what you’re doing, because I did what I did, too. Still doing it. It’s like all we have.

  Good luck. Tell your wife she’s not alone. It’s crazy company she keeps, but women like my wife have made it, too. In the end, it’s really about the kids. The film/music/art/writing is just how we fill the time we have, with all we know to fill it with. But oh, I feel for your wife. Looking back, how I wish I could change that. How I wish I could give her that break that she almost got. A normal life with a schedule. Morning coffee, all that. I’m trying harder now. Now I know how important it is, how much LIFE I squandered, even though I was making a lot of money. My family’s life. Oh, cherish it. Do.

  Shooshie
• #DailyArtDose Round-Up (yee-haw) « SPACES
  September 11th, 2009

  [...] Film: Film Makes Us Happy: wholphindvd.com [...]
• Tryze Harder
  October 4th, 2009

  Okay. The man/filmmaker/husband seems happy enough because he gets to do what he wants every day–make movies. (Even if he does seem to want his wife to be his mommy and tell him what to do: “Should I give up making films???”) The woman/stay-at-home mom/wife is not happy because she is not getting what she wants. She wants to be a stay at home mom with plenty of money to spend and a husband who is available to her and her child. I feel for her, but they both seem to want to live in a fairytale.

  Yo folks! Life is work. We must all make our way and make our own happiness. She will never be happy as long as she expects this guy to provide her happiness. Did she not read The Feminine Mystique? Is she not aware of the women’s movements of the 1840′s or 1910′s or 1960-70′s? Or did she not think any of that applied to her? If she wants money, she should go earn it and quit waiting for this clown to bring home the bacon. Yes, daycare is expensive but people all over the world hand their children to caregivers for a certain number of hours a day, while they go out and work– they till the soil and grow food or labor in a factory or work as a lawyer or teacher, etc. The excuse many make is: “I don’t trust others to care for my child.” Or “Why have a child if others are going to raise it?” It’s not easy but do your homework and find decent care. Children in even an adequate daycare situation have an orderly & stimulating day with peers to play with and activities to engage them, then they come home and have a full life with their families. Just like school-age kids. Do you think this child is having good time hanging out with such a despondent mother and self-absorbed father? Yikes–I’m worried this kid might drown in the parent’s self-pity! Better to spend a few hours a day in pre-school, so the crying woman can get the heck out of the house, earn a few $$ that she controls and have a couple of work-mates and be grown-up again and gain some perspective. Then if she decides that this guy really is a loser, she can walk away and know that she’ll be okay. She says she is stuck, but she needs to unstuck herself and not expect this guy to be her knight in shining armor. Figure out how you want your life to be and start walking in that direction.

  As for the filmmaker’s fantasy- it is difficult to discern when a dream becomes a delusion. He seems lost in a bohemian fantasy of art/life and it doesn’t seem to be helping his film work in the least. I think he might want to consider Flaubert’s advice: “Be regular and orderly in your life like a bourgeois, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” ~~Tryze
• Peter Grimm
  October 9th, 2009

  I am sorry to see such a pathetic excuse for a film on a website I thought I had faith in.

  DEAR BRYAN WIZEMANN

  Your video is a plea for help from you to the world.

  The art you are trying to make is failing. That doesn’t mean you should give up being an artist, but it means you should do what you need to do to make your family happy, before practicing art. Make art at the end of the day, or when there is time.

  If you love your wife and your family, you will listen to your wife and give up a little of your ambition to give her the break she deserves.

  You art will only improve when your life improves. You must acknowledge the place you have put yourself and your family, and act accordingly. This may not include doing what you want to do all the time.

  Grow up.
• Post One | Ballast Films
  October 19th, 2009

  [...] Makes Us Happy is now available online, as a featured film on the Wholphin DVD website. Click here to cancel [...]
• Misha Turner
  December 15th, 2009

  Dang, Bryan. I came across this reference trying to check out what Pam Grier is up to and stumbled upon your film. I just wanted to say, it was not easy watching your slice of life but I understand the strains that being in the film business causes. It’s a business first of all, and it’s being severely threatened by this topsy-turvy economy that we’re experiencing. A-T-L and B-T-L – the opportunities at making it – at least by middle-class standards – is becoming even more challenging.

  Realizing that until you can find a way to make it work, you still gotta take care of home. We’ve all got to be in the frame of mind of having multiple streams of income. Everyone has got to have some kind of hustle to maintain, because there ain’t no safety nets out there, kid. For now, find a way to make peace with the misses. She’s your partner – do all that you can to include her in the process towards your shared successes. Then those next tears will be for joy and not frustration, and you’ll be in a better state to continue being a filmmaker.

  Much success to you and your family. And thanks for making a way for Mz. Grier to do her thing on “Co-op of the Damned”.

  Peace,
  Misha
• Justin B
  December 28th, 2009

  Too much in this kept ringing bells for me, from both sides. Its like an inner dialogue that I keep having, attempting a career in a field that is highly unstable, subjective and critical.
  A recent relationship had this as an underpin, we didn’t have the kids thrown in but I always thought about what it would be like with them. Would you stay or would you go.
  They seem to be alive, which is great. For a person who arrived with a suitcase, she seems to have built a home, relationship and family. and too both their credit, persistence is apparent.
  I wonder myself whether the tide will turn as a film maker. Whether the dream will become just that and I’ll be stuck with corporate videos and training the next t.v. presenter. I always position the partner as the supportive one, nuturing an ability, but time and time again, i find myself wanting to give up just because of the pain that I cause as my film sword gets swung around repetitively, without landing any blows.
  Its difficult to know when that will happen, if at all.

  This piece shows me the yearning for creativity, and how to manage that in a modern existence. Then again, it also shows me how it can screw up. You’ve got a kid. Look after them.
• Randy
  February 18th, 2010

  who wrote the above interview and asked the questions ? I assume this is Wizemann interviewing himself ?
• Mike
  September 9th, 2010

  Support is supposed to go both ways.
• Sophia
  December 17th, 2010

  Patriarchy at it’s worst.

  Domineering, macho and egotistical director who needs to grow-up and be an equal partner and stop exploiting his wife and her insecurities and lack of awareness of how manipulative he is.

  This film shows what a bastard he is. It’s just an attempt to get sympathy from the Boys Club for a starving artist, told from his priviledged perspective with the illusion that she is ‘having her say’ when she just comes across as pathetic. It goes nowhere new.

  As you can see, films like this invoke hatred from women who are willfully misunderstood and thus excluded and terrorized for saying what they really feel and need. Equality.

  Creative communities like indie film rely on ‘admiring’ women to take subservient positions to support the many husbands / boyfriends / directors pursuing their passions. Says a lot about how films get made and why there are so many male directors.

  Feminism clearly has a long way to go, especially in film.

  Machismo and psychological manipulation.

  I wish she and female creatives who support their male counterparts would see how f’ed up their dynamic is, and get their men to start supporting their work. That would be revolutionary.

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