We’ve just learned that DVD distribution mimics the same alphabetically-discriminating practices employed by my first grade teacher, Miss Cobb. She would always send the A-through-F’s to lunch first, which meant they’d finish their soggy burgers first and get out to recess before the rest of us. This enabled them to claim the few primo, unrusted swings for themselves. Every day Matt Walsh and Tammy Ziegler would be left with, what, those broken spring-mounted horses? The disgusting sand box? Unfair, man. So, Wholphin #4 has shipped, and subscribers with last names beginning with the letter “A” living on the East coast should have their copies in a day or two. All Zimmermans living on the West coast will be getting theirs sometime in the next week or so.

To avoid reliving childhood memories of Miss Cobb and others like her, I recommend driving out into the desert and listening to the Scene Unseen podcast beneath the stars. Those guys have some astoundingly great interviews with the likes of David Lynch and Crispin Glover. URL: www.sceneunseenpodast.com